Kiwi Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 What in Neptune did you just fucking say about me, you little barnacle? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class at the Krusty Krab, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on the Chum Bucket, and I have over 300 confirmed orders filled. I am trained in bubble blowing and I’m the top jellyfish hunter in the entire Pacific armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in the oceans, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that fish paste to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of sharks across the Pacific and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, plankton. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can cook patties in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed grilling, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Krusty Krab Storage Room and I will use it to its full extent to cook a tastier burger than you, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn fiddlestick. I will shit tartar sauce all over you and you will drown in it. DROWN IN IT! You’re fucking dead, kiddo.What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little MRA? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in Fat Acceptance, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret downvote brigades on r/TumblrInAction, and I have over 300 confirmed bans. I am trained in kink-critical Intersectional Feminism and I’m the top benner in the entire SRS modlist. You are nothing to me but just another violentacrez. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision doxxing the likes of which has never been seen before on this privileged white male shithole known as Reddit, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying ableist shit like "stupid" and "lame" to me over the Internet? Think again, brony. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of Laurelai supporters across the world and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your IRL career. You’re fucking fired, neckbeard. I can be online anywhere, anytime, and I can get you banhammered in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my special friendship with the admins. Not only am I extensively trained in griefing Reddit, but I have access to the entire BRD arsenal of the Fempire and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the internet, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy brigading your little “clever” mansplaining was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue instead of derailing. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn fedora-wearing New Atheist libertarian. I will shit social justice all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking benned, shitlord. What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little shit? I’ll have you know I graduated top of Japan and I’m responsible for heart attacks of criminals world wide, and I have 124,925 confirmed kills. I trained myself to be the best in a battle of wits and I’m the god of this new world. You are nothing to me but just another name. I will wipe you the fuck out in a method that you can’t even comprehend, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the internet? Think again fucker. As we speak I am contacting all my followers and your personal file is being brought to my location right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime and kill you in over 2 million differant ways, and that’s just with my notebook. Not only am I extensively trained in finding out your name, but I have access to the entire arsenal of over 30 thousand world wild followers and I will use them to their full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of this continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what holy retribution your little “clever” statement was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would of held you fucking tounge. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you god damn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo. And what are your fucking qualifications, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class at UCLA, I'm fluent in French, conversational in Spanish, German and Italian, and I’ve studied Greek and Latin for over a decade, and Sanskrit, Hittite and Old Irish for several years. I have six years of historical linguistics under my belt and write in English for a living. You are nothing to me but just another pussyfooted kumbayah-singing descriptivist. I will call you the fuck out with precision the likes of which is only attainable in a highly-inflecting synthetic classical literary language – mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my highly-esteemed network of colleagues across academia and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that clearly and elegantly wipes out the pathetic little thing you call “descriptivism”. It’s fucking over, kid. I can refute any argument, in any language, and I can do it in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my ability to switch around word order for art and emphasis. Not only am I extensively trained in philology and grammar, but I have access to the entire archives of the UCLA Linguistic Corpora and I will use it to its full extent to send you back to your own defensive hardcore descriptivist corner where anything goes. If only you could have known what an embarrassing confutation your dumbed-down little comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will run circles around you in Latin and Sanskrit, and there’s nothing that can be said in nearly inflection-free, overly circumlocutory modern English that can stop me. You’re fucking dead, kiddo. Link to comment
Felicia Posted August 18, 2014 Author Share Posted August 18, 2014 GOODNIGHT KIWIBIRD. I WILL KICK YOUR ASS IN GORILLA WARFARE IN THE MORNING. Link to comment
Kiwi Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 GOODNIGHT KIWIBIRD. I WILL KICK YOUR ASS IN GORILLA WARFARE IN THE MORNING. ( ?° ?? ?°) Link to comment
Ganlam Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 The monster one is worse if you ask me. It's like the guy only wants shitty tattoos Link to comment
A Dark Heart Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 What in the fuck did i just read... Link to comment
Evil 4ever Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 What in the fuck did i just read... Link to comment
Babylon Sky Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 (edited) Is this the same Kiwi, I had as a mentor? STOP IT! your scaring me.. Where is my Kiwi !?! Edited August 18, 2014 by Babylon Sky Link to comment
Felicia Posted August 18, 2014 Author Share Posted August 18, 2014 The monster one is worse if you ask me. It's like the guy only wants shitty tattoosYeah, I wonder what other brands he has on himself Link to comment
Addriana Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 I have a new love for Kiwi. Link to comment
Dedale Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 His name is Robert Paulson Link to comment
Babylon Sky Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 The monster one is worse if you ask me. It's like the guy only wants shitty tattoosI will spend the money for quality over quantity.. if it has a huge logo, I'm not gonna buy it, no matter what.. hence my boring wardrobe lol I refuse to be walking advertisements for big cooperations , let alone a tat.. Woohoo! who needs this guy in their life, Link to comment
Felicia Posted August 18, 2014 Author Share Posted August 18, 2014 The monster one is worse if you ask me. It's like the guy only wants shitty tattoosI will spend the money for quality over quantity.. if it has a huge logo, I'm not gonna buy it, no matter what.. hence my boring wardrobe lol I refuse to be walking advertisements for big cooperations , let alone a tat.. Woohoo! who needs this guy in their life, His baby momma. Link to comment
Babylon Sky Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 The monster one is worse if you ask me. It's like the guy only wants shitty tattoosI will spend the money for quality over quantity.. if it has a huge logo, I'm not gonna buy it, no matter what.. hence my boring wardrobe lol I refuse to be walking advertisements for big cooperations , let alone a tat.. Woohoo! who needs this guy in their life, His baby momma.OMG Felicia Ewwww, he would have to have a girl first.. O wow he could be someones dad Link to comment
LiquidSwords Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 Is it bad if I actually think the RS tattoo is kinda cool? Link to comment
Caedis Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 Wow, a Runescape Tattoo. I think I was drunker than you tho yesterday:) Link to comment
Babylon Sky Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 Would be cooler if you could wipe it off lmao Id be afraid to hire him, I cant have a warehouse full ppl playing RS all day, I'm the only that can do that at work lol at least my tats have meaning lol Link to comment
Beric Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 Is it bad if I actually think the RS tattoo is kinda cool? Yes. Please seek help. at least my tats have meaning lolGabby has tattoos?!?!?!!? Link to comment
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