Rest in Peace...

[Dan G]

[Beric]

sad for his family and friends. can't feel too bad for him however. 

These sort of comments bother me, even though I know you mean no harm. Why wouldn't you feel bad for someone who struggled with a devastating disease?

 

I've been suicidal, and it is very hard to think rationally when you are that low. You can do everything right, see all the best doctors, and still fully believe that you will never feel okay again. You can believe that your friends and family would be better off without you. That no one really loves you, etc.

 

Your brain lies to you, which is the hardest thing to make someone who isn't clinically depressed understand.  

 

It's a brutal and lonely disorder, and having some sympathy for those who lose their battle with it is the least we can do. 

[Joshjrn]

A quote from Watchmen came across my newsfeed today. I thought it was apropos:

"I heard a joke once. Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. Life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says "Treatment is simple. The great clown, Pagliacci, is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up". Man bursts into tears. "But doctor", he says, "I am Pagliacci."

Having never battled mental illness, I can't even fathom the darkness he must have felt for so long, even while bringing joy to so many. Hopefully this will bring awareness of the seriousness, and commonality, of mental illness so that we can start to invest in the resources people need. As someone who works in the criminal justice system, I know all too well how insufficient current resources are.

Edited August 14, 2014 by Joshjrn

[Babylon Sky]

sad for his family and friends. can't feel too bad for him however. 

These sort of comments bother me, even though I know you mean no harm. Why wouldn't you feel bad for someone who struggled with a devastating disease?

 

I've been suicidal, and it is very hard to think rationally when you are that low. You can do everything right, see all the best doctors, and still fully believe that you will never feel okay again. You can believe that your friends and family would be better off without you. That no one really loves you, etc.

 

Your brain lies to you, which is the hardest thing to make someone who isn't clinically depressed understand.  

 

It's a brutal and lonely disorder, and having some sympathy for those who lose their battle with it is the least we can do. 

 

  I hit that wall a few years ago due to an a life threating disease and I do not know how I managed to find my way out, but I did.

I am truly one of the blessed. My mother says It's because I have a simple mind LOL.. And have since found a whole new world   

To you Jade  much love.

 

 

A quote from Watchmen came across my newsfeed today. I thought it was apropos:

"I heard a joke once. Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. Life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says "Treatment is simple. The great clown, Pagliacci, is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up". Man bursts into tears. "But doctor", he says, "I am Pagliacci."

Having never battled mental illness, I can't even fathom the darkness he must have felt for so long, even while bringing joy to so many. Hopefully this will bring awareness of the seriousness, and commonality, of mental illness so that we can start to invest in the resources people need. As someone who works in the criminal justice system, I know all too well how insufficient current resources are.

 

I also live with a sister altho has a heart of gold, battles being Bi-polar/High risk A typical personality. Unfortunately, she has had her battles with risky behave and after a suicide attempt has met our Judicial system and Mental illness system.. It was mind numbing. She spent a year on probation as a criminal and not a mentally ill person.

After having her cases moved to Ga,the judge hearing her case gave my parents the chance to put her in private care, otherwise I don't know where she would be.. She has since had a child and seems to making the right life choices.. 

Kudos to you Josh

Edited August 14, 2014 by Babylon Sky

[Sheckky]

sad for his family and friends. can't feel too bad for him however.

These sort of comments bother me, even though I know you mean no harm. Why wouldn't you feel bad for someone who struggled with a devastating disease?

I've been suicidal, and it is very hard to think rationally when you are that low. You can do everything right, see all the best doctors, and still fully believe that you will never feel okay again. You can believe that your friends and family would be better off without you. That no one really loves you, etc.

Your brain lies to you, which is the hardest thing to make someone who isn't clinically depressed understand.

It's a brutal and lonely disorder, and having some sympathy for those who lose their battle with it is the least we can do.

I find it astonishing that after someone kills themselves, the outcry of people around them. I think there's a small percentage of people that truly have nobody to turn to in times of hardship.

How self/foolish it is to think that you have to get through tough times alone.

Having a hard time? Go up to anyone that remotely cares about you and how remarkable you'll see how willing they are to help you. To kill yourself and throw in their face that you thought that, disappearing from the world permanently is the only solution. To see the aftermath is heartbreaking.

It might be a brutal disorder but many are not alone. In my mind it's so easy to prevent falling into that situation. Perhaps it's our fault for not letting them know that we are there to help and create a net to catch them before they fall into such a hole of despair.

You get one life only. To have it cut short for reasons other than ones out of your control, is unforgivable.

edit: feel bad for those that are suffering, not for those that gave up.

Edited August 14, 2014 by Sheckky

[Joshjrn]

I assume you've never had an in depth conversation with someone who battled clinical depression and suicidal tendencies?

[Babylon Sky]

Altho, I get your point, true the aftermath is truly heart breaking.

 

 I feel strongly that, it is not our place in this world to judge.

 

Do we really know, the people we love and the demons they battle, I think not. 

 

I was 21, the world I knew came to a halt, so I do know the word, alone.

 

My point is; most people don't want to know the real truth of a loved one, others feel that are sheltering a loved one and some are just cowards.

And the  lies we tell ourselves, soon become reality..

Most people feel they are that special, that it surprises them when a tragedy hits them. We aren't that special. We're humans, simple humans complicated feelings and lives.

 

You are one of the lucky few, that has not been touched by what is quite common for a lot of people.. "Alone" is a very sad word to many..

[Sheckky]

I assume you've never had an in depth conversation with someone who battled clinical depression and suicidal tendencies?

Correct. Please explain what I've missed out on?

[Unbeaten]

I assume you've never had an in depth conversation with someone who battled clinical depression and suicidal tendencies?

Correct. Please explain what I've missed out on?

Basically, everything. You seem to suggest that depression is nothing more than a really, really bad day, and that it's possible for a loved one to cheer them up with a smile and a hug. Depression's diagnostic criteria specifically state that the level of low mood must be persistent for >2 weeks, they must lose interest in all their normal activities and be completely devoid of energy. Simply put: it's a condition which completely changes a person's outlook on life and cannot be remedied as easily as you suggest.

 

Most people (Robin Williams included) seek some form of medical attention, although I will admit that this is probably less likely in the US for costing reasons. Even with the best medical care and strong support networks, depression can be an absolute nightmare to tackle. I don't know if Robin Williams was on any medication but he was likely taking a cocktail of antidepressants every day. He went to rehab only a few weeks ago and they would have tackled his depression there. It isn't possible to keep patients there indefinitely and there is always a risk of relapse upon discharge. Unfortunately sometimes a strong relapse occurs and this can often be the sad result. Suicide isn't the result of selfishness from the patient or lack of care from health services; depression is a really shitty condition and its level of impact on someone's life cannot be understated.

[Joshjrn]

I assume you've never had an in depth conversation with someone who battled clinical depression and suicidal tendencies?

Correct. Please explain what I've missed out on?

 

 

I would prefer to leave that to those who have experienced it first hand. If you are truly interested in listening, I'm sure you have clanmates who would be willing to reach out and discuss it with you. If not, it would be a good start to seek out the countless articles online written by people suffering.

That said, I would like to give a much more general piece of advice: one should always be extremely wary of developing an opinion concerning something important without gathering sufficient data. The possibility of causing harm is substantial, and that harm can be catastrophic.

Edited August 14, 2014 by Joshjrn

[Babylon Sky]

Bravo Josh..

[Sheckky]

I'm not trying to undermine the seriousness of depression. There are just more ways out there to get yourself help than I believe people take advantage of that end up taking their lives. These might include a smile and hug, Mike, but maybe after that smile and a hug if continued to trust and express the problems that are haunting the individual. I believe this done early enough and consistently can really lessen the compounding of an individual's depression. People can make a comeback from that. Individuals that turn to other methods such as drugs, alcohol, compressing feelings are doing nothing to help themselves despite what they might think. Leading down this path might not lead to a comeback. 

 

Basically, self identification I believe isn't that hard to accomplish and if done so, using the support system that most people have around them should be used more so. If you've had someone commit suicide in your community, the community is devastated. Often, the causes that led someone down that path aren't known; their support system wasn't used. Actually after their death, there was a support system actually around them whether they realised it or chose not to. But it should never come to suicide. I feel it's preventable in many cases and it makes me upset that people chose that option after they could have given so much more to the world and the world had so much left to give them. 

 

As to Josh and anyone else, I'd be more than willing to here any stories that are out there. If someone even needed someone to talk to, I'd listen.

[Babylon Sky]

Sheckky, a good place for you to start, volunteer in your community, take the time to work in a Soup kitchen, Meals on Wheels, in Women's shelter or an Assisted Living facility.

 

There you will find despair, you just might recognize that "something" your missing. Maybe even in the eyes of a child that knows hunger, pain, ridicule and overwhelming sadness.. 

But many people do suffer quietly, they are not in your face.. but there non the less.  

 

I wish you well in your search for an understanding and compassion on this issue.. before a friend needs you.

Edited August 14, 2014 by Babylon Sky

[Eisa]

I'm not trying to undermine the seriousness of depression. There are just more ways out there to get yourself help than I believe people take advantage of that end up taking their lives. These might include a smile and hug, Mike, but maybe after that smile and a hug if continued to trust and express the problems that are haunting the individual. I believe this done early enough and consistently can really lessen the compounding of an individual's depression. People can make a comeback from that. Individuals that turn to other methods such as drugs, alcohol, compressing feelings are doing nothing to help themselves despite what they might think. Leading down this path might not lead to a comeback. 

 

Basically, self identification I believe isn't that hard to accomplish and if done so, using the support system that most people have around them should be used more so. If you've had someone commit suicide in your community, the community is devastated. Often, the causes that led someone down that path aren't known; their support system wasn't used. Actually after their death, there was a support system actually around them whether they realised it or chose not to. But it should never come to suicide. I feel it's preventable in many cases and it makes me upset that people chose that option after they could have given so much more to the world and the world had so much left to give them. 

 

As to Josh and anyone else, I'd be more than willing to here any stories that are out there. If someone even needed someone to talk to, I'd listen.

I see where you're coming from, but the thing is, when one is depressed, they REALLY can't identify anyone's interest in them, or at least that's how it was with me. I couldn't even grasp that there was a modicum of love or compassion coming from anywhere because of the state I was in. Even though it was there in some shape or form, I wanted nothing more than to leap out the window right next to my face as I lay in bed, and let it all go away.

I'd think someone might resort to drugs or alcohol as when you're depressed you really do feel alone, and both are ways to drown everything else away, not because they'l cure the depression.

Yes, there are ways to get help, and people to turn to, but when you're in the lowest of lows, and you can't see any light, you just lose hope, and many people in a state of depression don't realise that the people around them care the slightest.

I have a friend who after her parents divorce, had to bear the news that her father has developed cancer, and her closest friend hung herself from the punching bag stand that she herself helped her set up. For a lot of people it's not just "a hard time", it's life beating you down and shutting the lights out.