Kate Posted June 21, 2021 Posted June 21, 2021 Alternatively titled, Dad jokes. My best friend and I have long since lost our fathers, so on father's day we have a longstanding tradition of making sure to spam each other with bad/dad jokes which are one of my absolute favorite things. Let's start a bad/dad joke thread! Did you know Karl Marx's sister invented the starter pistol? Poor Onya... What do sprinters eat before a run? Nothing, they fast! RIP boiling water, you will be mist. What did one nut say to the nut it was chasing? I'm a cashew. If you refuse a nap you run the risk of being arrested for resisting a rest.
The Camshaft Posted June 21, 2021 Posted June 21, 2021 What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? "Supplies!!" What do you call a poor Santa Claus? "St. Nickel-less"
Felicia Posted June 21, 2021 Posted June 21, 2021 We're the van driving in traffic... "We're right on their heels, or should I say.. wheels" - Locksley, age 6
The Camshaft Posted June 21, 2021 Posted June 21, 2021 What did one hat say to the other? "Stay here, I'm going on ahead!"
punkichick2 Posted June 21, 2021 Posted June 21, 2021 What kind of cheese isn’t yours? - nacho cheese
Ox 1899 Posted June 21, 2021 Posted June 21, 2021 Why should you never leave painkillers by your bird cage? Because the parrots-eat-em-all
Kiss My Ass Posted June 21, 2021 Posted June 21, 2021 Why can’t you trust atoms? Because they make up everything
Kate Posted June 21, 2021 Author Posted June 21, 2021 (edited) I was a little shocked to find out I'm not a good electrician. What do you call an illegally parked frog? Toad. I bought a racing snail, but it seemed like its shell was weighing it down. I removed the shell but it seems a little more sluggish now. Why did the old woman fall into the water? She couldn't see that well. How many animals can jump higher than the Eiffel tower? All of them, the Eiffel tower can't jump. Edited June 21, 2021 by Kate
Kate Posted June 21, 2021 Author Posted June 21, 2021 (edited) What do you call it when batman skips church? Christian bail. Did I tell you about my latest invention? Thought controlled air freshener. It makes scents when you think about it. You already know that 6 is afraid of 7 because 7 ate 9.. but do you know why he did it? Because you need 3² meals a day. There is one thing that sucks about telling all these dad jokes. I'm being a faux pa. Edited June 21, 2021 by Kate
Ox 1899 Posted June 21, 2021 Posted June 21, 2021 What do you call a man with a spade on his head? Doug.
Ox 1899 Posted June 21, 2021 Posted June 21, 2021 What do you call a man without a spade on his head? Douglas.
Kate Posted June 21, 2021 Author Posted June 21, 2021 3 minutes ago, Ox 1899 said: What do you call a man with a spade on his head? Doug. 2 minutes ago, Ox 1899 said: What do you call a man without a spade on his head? Douglas. This made me say god damn it so loud
Ox 1899 Posted June 21, 2021 Posted June 21, 2021 2 minutes ago, Kate said: This made me say god damn it so loud What do you call Rudolph when he looses his sight? No idea What do you call Rudolph when he looses his sight and all his legs? Still no idea
Kate Posted June 21, 2021 Author Posted June 21, 2021 3 minutes ago, Ox 1899 said: What do you call Rudolph when he looses his sight? No idea What do you call Rudolph when he looses his sight and all his legs? Still no idea This took me longer to get than I'd like to admit lmfao.
Ox 1899 Posted June 21, 2021 Posted June 21, 2021 1 minute ago, Kate said: This took me longer to get than I'd like to admit lmfao. The hallmark of a bad joke right there xD What do you call a cat that's eaten a lot of water fowl? A duck-filled-fatty-puss
Trogdor_0 Posted June 21, 2021 Posted June 21, 2021 It's a 5 minute walk from my house to the bar but a 45 minute walk from the bar to my house. The difference is staggering.
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