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Bad Jokes


Kate

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What's the difference between a cat and a comma?

 

One has claws at the end of it's paws, the other is a pause at the end of a clause.

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Just now, Trogdor_0 said:

What's the opposite of ladyfingers?

 

Mentos

*notes that one down*

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What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a unicycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire. 

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 I want a job cleaning mirrors. It’s something I can really see myself doing.

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Why do some people wear a watch on their left hand and some on their right?

 

To tell time.

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So what if I can't spell Armageddon?  It's not the end of the world...

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin turns to the second and says “man, it’s getting hot in here!” The second muffin turns to the first and says “oh my God a talking muffin!”

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  • 3 weeks later...

How does one make holy water?? 
You put water in a pot and boil the hell out of it! 

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7 hours ago, Inquisitor02 said:

How does one make holy water?? 
You put water in a pot and boil the hell out of it! 

Lmao :) Glad someone revived this thread!

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  • 4 weeks later...

What's the difference between outlaws and inlaws ?

Outlaws are wanted.

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what is a cows favorite thing to do on the weekend?
...
...
...
Go to the MOOOOOOOvies!

 

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Why are pirates so bad at the alphabet.

 

 

 

Because they are always stuck at SEA 

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Do you know why graveyards are fenced?

 

Spoiler

Because people are dying to get in.

 

👼

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"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"To."

"To who?"

"Excuse me, it's 'to whom.'"

 

giphy.gif?cid=ecf05e47on0ywip13qe84bdqzj

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  • 4 weeks later...

What's green and red and goes 20 miles an hour?

 

.. 

 

Frog in a blender

 

Yes. I used that joke for a few trick-or-treat nights as a kid and got glares.. 

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